1 more day

So yesterday I was in the worse mood ever. I was fine during the day but then at night my sister and I got into it which really ticked me off. For the past two days I felt moody and I know it's because I'm anxious with the whole getting back to school thing, starting my eat-clean routine. Today though, I've felt pretty good. Maybe it's because I know I'm going back to school tomorrow and I get to do something different rather than sit on my couch and be lazy. I can't wait to start eating clean and exercising and taking great care of myself. My goal is to lose 30 pounds this semester. I said I wanted it done before my recital but I think that's putting too much pressure on myself so I'm giving it til the end of this semester. If I reach that goal before my recital then GO ME!!!!! I just need to keep myself completely motivated and not let anything stand in my way. I'm on this!!!

End of a Break

So winter break is almost over, Thank God. I'm so glad though because I feel so lazy today. I haven't done very much since I've been home. I need to workout today or something before I go crazy.

My Reality Check

So today I called my father to talk to him about this upcoming weekend. I'm going to stay with my Aunt and Uncle for a couple days to see my grandfather then heading down to hang with my Dad. When I talked to him today he told me that my grandfather has told the hospital he would like for them to stop his medication and to stop feeding him through an I.V. At this point he is waiting for his life to end. I cried for a good hour about it.

I always ask myself why my Grandfather wants to do this to himself. I know a few reasons. He lost my grandmother (whom he loved dearly) about 10 years ago. He is a diabetic and is on many medications that kill his energy and his taste buds. It upsets me though because he acts like he is lonely when that is simply not true. He still has his children, his 6 grandchildren and 4 great-grandchildren who love him very much. I don't want to see him give up.

This whole situation came as a reality check to me. I cannot let myself become a person who cannot, or chooses not to take care of themselves. If I can work to be a healthy person then I can inspire the rest of my family to be healthy as well and we can live longer and happier lives. I don't want the possibility of diabetes in my future and I don't want it for my sisters either. My grandfather deserved a healthier life and he wouldn't do that for himself. I choose to do this for myself because I don't think God intended for us to give up on ourselves.

Happy New Year

So I've already started off the new year in a positive direction. I've been working on job applications all day so that I can get a head start on getting a job for the summer. I hope it works out cause I could really use the money and I don't feel like staying up at school again. I've also set up 5 goals for myself. They aren't hard or anything I can't handle but they are going to be a small challenge for myself. These are my first 5 goals for 2011

1.No smoking for 2 weeks (Jan 2-Jan 16)
2. Lose 10 pounds
3. Workout for 3 days of the week
4. Follow my menu plan for two weeks (End of January)
5. Find a job for the summer

I've already started working on my fifth goal which is a great start. I hope something comes up for me. I'll have to check back later in the month for any new jobs. I feel good about what I'm doing for myself and I know it's just going to get better from here.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!