Where am I going?

I am 22 years old, almost out of college, and unhealthy. I can't even walk very far without running out of breath and feeling like I'm going to pass out. What is going on? I know what it is... I let myself get this way because I didn't care about myself. I am sick and on antibiotics right now and I shouldn't have to be. It makes me sick to my stomach and feel drowsy all day...

So now I ask myself, "Where am I going?". Am I going in a direction where I will be at risk with diabetes because it runs in my family? Or am I going to stop being lazy and care about the number 1 person in my life.... ME. I saw my grandfather over Thanksgiving weekend and he looked terrible. He won't eat, won't get up, won't go anywhere, won't do anything unless someone forces him to. He's given up. I know he has reasons but I can't accept that. You should never give up. There are reasons to be healthy. I want to live a happy and healthy life and I can't wait for someone to hand that to me. I'm going to have to do this myself. I've given up about 3 times now and it's a horrible feeling of failure. I've learned what I've done wrong and what I've been missing.

So here's how it's gonna go. I have a binder filled with all of the information I need for the Eat Clean Diet. I also have pages for motivation, as well as something I like to call the "Reality Check-List". There's no going back from here. I've had people tell me they love me just the way I am. That's great but I would love me too if I was able to get up in the morning and have energy, feel more confident with my looks, not have to keep buying bigger sizes in clothes. That's not me. I will not be 160 pounds wearing size 13 jeans for the rest of my life. Just not going to happen. This is my promise to myself. I don't care if I don't have a six-pack but I do care if my BMI is down to the right number and I can walk around comfortably in clothes that make feel amazing.

It's gonna happen. There's no stopping me now.